The Venetia Fair is on their 2011 summer tour with Composure and Young English. While on tour they will be writing periodic blogs for us. The third one can be read after the break!
Hey everyone. We’re done with our shit days off. We drove from Pittsburgh area out to Phili. We drove to Mike’s old college buddy Kevin’s house. He does famous things for famous people. Its pretty cool. On the way there we stopped at a liquor store and bought handles of tequila, gin, whiskey, and vodka. We also found a thrift store next door to the liquor store and found some things and we bought them. I got a vest that was pretty sweet.
We arrived at Kevin’s house and immediately started drinking. Mr. Chark tried an experiment where we ran the $11 handle of vodka through a brita filter 10 times to see if it made it any smoother. The experiment was inconclusive, as nobody could tell the difference. However, everyone was able to tell the difference when the experiment was done with whiskey.
So we grilled lots of chicken and hung out and had good times. I told everyone some depressing stories about my life and re-enacted them in a backyard. I also burned a dollar bill because I don’t respect George Washington.
After a heated discussion about how Bud Light tastes compared to New Castle, we decided it would be a good idea to go to bed, and we watched a movie and some shows instead, while forcing ourselves to drink more vodka that nobody wanted. We eventually went to bed.
The next day unfortunately woke up. Kevin’s house is right down the street from the Utz Potato chip factory, so we wanted to take a tour. Everyone was really excited about Utz, except for Mike because he’s old and only gets excited when he sees a typewriter from his childhood. Mike didn’t come on the trip because hes a party shitter.
The Utz factory was nothing short of amazing. You should see those dudes work forklifts. If you ever find yourself in Hanover PA, go to the Utz factory and ask to speak to Brandon. He’s ridiculous at driving forklifts. Dr. Utz literally fired his entire staff because Brandon will do all their jobs for 5 cents over minimum wage.
After the factory, we went to Kevin’s parents house where we used their pool, and grilled more meat. We ate all of it. Mr. Chark punched a bee to death.
We headed to a Walmart to sleep, and we all got drunk again. This time when we got drunk, we all got depressed about things and wanted to go to sleep, but Ben made Andy and I stay up and talk, then I got stuck up until 5 am listening to Andy snore. Andy is also the drunkest dude to ever live. Every time he drinks he drinks enough to kill a bear.
The next morning Mr. Chark bought some pellets for his gun, and had target practice in the Wal-mart parking lot. He’s a good shot especially with the scope. He could shoot the hair off a dog at 500 yards. We got our van’s oil changed, and proceeded to Guitar Center, where we needed to replace some broken gear.
Ben replaced a microphone and cable, Mike bought some rack gear, and I bought a new microphone. The guy tried to give me just the box, before I reminded him that I purchased a microphone for money, not just the case that the microphone comes in.
We played a show last night in Blackwood, NJ. It was a pretty decent show. We got fed well and the staff was great. Andy was once again the drunkest dude alive, having drank even more than we ever thought he could. Every time he one-ups himself. Its definitely not healthy, but I support it entirely.
Before the show we all groomed each other by giving each other some haircuts and face shaves. Afterwards we tried to throw some rocks into a dumpster. Andy was the best at it and Mike was the worst.
After the show we drove away and somehow we are in Long Island 4 hours early for our show today. We’re playing the Vibe Lounge today. I hate loading into this place so I’m already upset about it. Show is looking like it will be good though. Ben is playing Spore right now on his computer, I think its his distraction from The Wire. Glad to see he’s getting passed his addiction. Chris is in the trailer right now beating off because he felt like he simply could not go on if he didn’t. He’s tried to beat off 3 times today, but could not. Glad to see that he’s having a good time as well.