The Venetia Fair – 2nd ROAD BLOG from their “The Moby Boner Tour”

The Venetia Fair is on their “The Moby Boner Tour” with Assemble the Skyline and Take Cover. While on tour they will be writing periodic blogs for us. The second one can be read after the break.

Hello my little digital tour bus readers this is none other than brittle boned Mike keeping you updated on where we left on this here Moby Boner Tour. If I forget things, or state things twice, know that it’s because my brain is old and mushy from age and all of Little Rock’s crack. SOOooo Denver, well here are a few things, we met Assemble the Skyline and as assumed they were a bunch of west coast pussies. In fact they decided to go ahead and name the tour the West Coast Best Coast Tour with out the consent of anyone. This made everyone hate them and their coast right of the bat. Brown man Joe won’t even speak to them until they get on the same page as everyone and change the name to it’s rightful Moby Boner Tour. Every time approached by a member trying to get his attention he just looks around as though he saw a ghost. Big rule if you find yourself at Quixote’s True Blue in Denver seeing or playing a show…NEVER SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT JERRY GARCIA. There are posters and tapestries of The Grateful Dead all over the venue, and of course the band with Oden, the hippy in it aka Take Cover got thrown out for talking down upon Jerry. From now on Take Cover’s new name is Oden the Hippy…so don’t get confused…off to Grand Junction.

We were literally treated like fucking celebrities here. We got great catering at the venue, tons of fans came out to the show, then I think the entire bull shit city went from the show to a hookah bar where we had a free VIP table at the head of the bar and sat on our asses for hours with friends and fans blowing smoke bubbles and making fun of Assemble the Skyline. Yes they were there and we were doing it in front of them. Not to worries they’re still pussies until they join the Moby Boner Tour. Luke is slightly intimidating because he gets shredded by jacking iron in his van, but fuck him, we have cap guns! From the bar we went to a house party now coming up on 3am things usually start to get weird as usual. At this point you should probably be able to guess what happened, but to save your imagination the trouble Mr. Chark got naked drank his own urine, then proceeded to open his mouth and put his head under the stream of urine coming from a friend that was peeing outside because drinking his own pee surely wasn’t sufficient. Mr. Chark, Chris and I lost several games of beer pong to professional beer pong players so the three of us thought we would surely play better if we bet all of our belonging. We stripped down, put everything we had on the table and played in our underwear (minus Mr. Chark who was obviously nude) Well, we lost and had to beg for our things back which we managed to get all except for a lighter. Oh and Mr. Chark’s boots, Oh and the key to our cash box…Daddy Benny was angry at us when asking to get into the merch money box, but completely respected our decision. Off to Ogden, UT!

Our van was no longer running on gas for this drive, it was running strictly on hangovers. Ogden was a good turn out, lots of great bands, people, awesome venue called The Basement and amazing owner that cares about music and touring bands. Nothing too crazy happened, Assemble the Skyline played like pussies, Oden the Hippy played like stoners, we hurt ourselves really bad when we played then drove to Missoula, MT…

Stay tuned pussies cause we got lots more tour and lots more fun comin’ your way.

P.S. We don’t really hate Assemble The Skyline or Take Cover. We just think they’re hug pussies. Huge pussies that we like. Well…joe doesn’t like them but maybe he’ll come around.