The Limousines – TOUR TIPS (Part 2 of 2)

Electropop band, The Limousines, have written a set of Tour Tips that you guys can learn from. You can check out part 2 of 2 after the break.

1. Sex Drugs Rock n Roll – All the stuff you’ve seen in the movies is true. Backstage is what you make it. There are girls in every city who will suck your dick because you are in a band on tour. There are dudes in every town who will bring you all the free drugs you can handle. It’s Disneyland for addicts and perverts but when that gets boring, it’s really easy to turn backstage into a laptop sanctuary, plug in, do some social networking or whatever. Remember, over-indulging in drugs and pussy can turn a nice guy into an asshole in a month, over doing it on Facebook and twitter might just make you boring.
2. Get there safe – don’t be a tough guy behind the wheel. If you’re in a van on tour, don’t try to keep driving when your eyelids feel like they weigh a ton. Pull over, take a quick nap, eat some fruit or nuts and drink a lot of water. Energy drinks are fine if you just have 20 miles to go but if you get amped on garbage and junk food right before that all nighter you’ll be crashing out (figuratively or literally) in an hour or two. Don’t be afraid to be a pussy. If you’re tired, you’re tired. Pass the wheel to anyone who’s awake and sober, there is no shame in admitting you’re pooped and everyone else will appreciate the fact that you value human life enough to be smart about driving the van. Leave space in front of you. That van has about a thousand pounds of living cargo in it, plus a trailer full of heavy gear, even in optimal driving conditions it takes a whole to stop that thing, so drive like a grandpa if you wanna live. If its snowing too bad for you to get to the next town on schedule, it’s better to miss a show than to have to eat your bass player when you get caught in a blizzard.
3. Communicate! This is something any family counselor would charge you a million bucks for, but I’ll tell ya for free, cuz I think communication is important. Talking about what’s bothering you is healthy for everyone. So if someone chews too loud at catering, let them know. (in a tactful way) Complimenting people when they do a good job makes them happy and makes them want to do a good job all the time. So you finish a good show, give that singer a hug and tell him he killed it. Sold a shitload of shirts that night? Tell the merch girl she kicked ass and maybe even give her a little bonus if you don’t absolutely need that $20 for gas. On the way out of the venue say thanks to the club security guys or the bartenders or the guy sweeping the floor – all those people make the world go ’round and they’ll appreciate the acknowledgment – When its time to head to the next town, maybe hop in the driver’s seat, start the van and say something like, “good work tonight everyone, I’m proud of us!” – cheesy? Maybe. Try it, you and the rest of the van can thank me later. As for the girlfriend back home? Ca her in the morning. Call her during the day. If she doesn’t answer, leave a message saying you were just thinking about her. Call her at night and ask how her day was BEFORE you tell her how awesome tonight’s show was. If any slutty girls hit on you, tell we all about it. She knows it’s going on, so if you lie about it, you’re just digging a hole. Oh and, Skype Skype Skype…
4. Alone time – I you’re the type of person who normally gets a lot of time alone, make sure you take a walk by yourself every once in a whole while you’re on tour. Get away for a minute. Explore a city you’ve always wanted to see. If you don’t do it, you could find yourself getting really annoyed and grumpy and not even realize why – but on the road you are never alone unless you’re taking a shit or a shower, so make plans for a little bit of me time to keep yourself balanced.
5. Be healthy. Sure, you can party and you can have sex with strangers, but try and grab some trail mix, dried fruit, fresh fruit, vegetables and get a bunch of water in your belly whenever you get a chance. If you’re normally a Whole Foods shopper you will be absolutely disgusted with how the majority of the country eats. McDonalds, Chic Fil A, Popeyes and Gas Station food –  It’s all greasy, fried beige shit. Rule of thumb, if it costs less than a dollar you probably shouldn’t eat it. You need energy when you’re performing and you when you’re not performing you’re sitting on your ass so eating junk will just make you tired and fat. Being sick on the road sucks so bad, being tired on stage sucks, being grumpy on the drives can cause a lot of inter-band tension and being malnourished can make you come off like a brain dead idiot when you’re being interviewed on live radio… So try and be healthy! It doesn’t mean you have to be boring either, you can still do bad things to your body*, just try and even it out with sleep and good food whenever you can.

*the fine print goes out to singers… i’m a lifelong on again off again smoker and i know how hard it is to not smoke. It’s especially hard for me when I’m on tour, but smoking really does fuck up your voice. You’ll tell people it doesn’t, but quit for a month and check out the difference in your singing voice, all the high end of your range and clarity comes back in about three weeks and it just gets better after that. If you’re a singer the worst things you can do to your voice are not sleeping enough, not drinking enough water, smoking cigarettes and vomiting. Yes. Puking will really damage your voice bad. The worst thing for singers is actually talking to fans. As counterintuitive as that sounds, it’s true. Usually if you’re hanging out in the club after you play the room is probably really loud, so you’re talking loudly and that damages your voice. – And here’s how you end up with a cold on every single tour – strangers spit in your face… There you are in the bar and some dude is drunk and his big loud mouth is two inches away from your face and just as he’s teling you how much better your band is than the band on stage, a little tiny drop of spit flies out of his mouth and lands in your eye or on your lip. Presto! You’re gonna have a cold and have to cancel shows… Avoid this by leaning into the stranger as he talks, turning your head like you’re trying to hear him better and buy a pair of some kind of glasses. These are your safety goggles in the bar. Try not to shake hands with people if you can avoid it. Remember, you’re the singer, no matter what, people are going to think you’re a dick. So don’t feel obligated to meet every single person in the room every night. Let the drummer soak up some attention instead. Maybe skip the party every once in a while and catch up on your facebooking.

Make sure to check out The Limousines on Facebook, Twitter and Myspace.